“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1
After I buy new clothes, my mom always tells me, “Go through your closet so we can donate what you don’t want anymore.” What she really means is, “You have too many clothes and we need to get rid of some because you keep buying more.”
During my most recent clean-out session, I was trying to figure out what compels me to keep purchasing new clothes. Is it seeing new trends on social media – ones that all the fashion bloggers talk about? Could be. I do know that I feel this ‘void’ and the only thing that can fill it is that item of clothing that is ‘in’. Once I finally achieve my goal of acquiring this new trend – be it a shirt, jacket, whatever – I am happy for a few days and the first few times I wear it, but after that, the void returns and I am on to the next thing.
Sitting there on my bedroom floor, surrounded by a pile of discarded clothes, I contemplated whether this endless cycle of shopping was actually worth it. Would it ever bring my happiness? Should I keep wasting my time and effort? Why do I have this void that I feel urged to fill?
Coming from a Christian household and having gone to Sunday school on a regular basis, I have constantly heard the message that we need to fill our souls with Christ and that He is the only thing that can satisfy us. We need read the Bible daily in order to feed our souls. We need to set time aside each day to grow in our relationship with Christ. We need to put Jesus before all worldly things. These things are very important to life as a Christian, and priorities I believe we do need to make. However, just like many other things in this life, it is easier said then done.
Personally, I have struggled (and am currently struggling) with having an agenda focused on this world and not on Jesus. The aforementioned ‘void’ is largely apparent because I lack the spiritual sustenance that one can only gain through Christ. Most of us have heard the sermons and Christian songs about only finding happiness in Jesus, but until recently, this has become startlingly real to me. I readily feel this hole inside my being that I have no means to fill on my own. And yet I keep trying to.
This next step in my spiritual journey has to be understanding that I can’t find happiness with myself. I need to find it in Christ. God created this world with us in it, and he enjoys watching us live, grow and create. Fashion in and of itself isn’t necessarily wrong – heck, I love styling outfits – but when we focus our soul being into it, that is when a problem arises.
I know I need to take a step back and re-focus my life, and I feel our society does too. Everyday, when I go to check Instagram, Pinterest or any other social media platform, people are so focused on material things. Many of us (I admit – myself included) are absorbed on getting the perfect OOTD photo or getting thousands of followers, but what we really need to be doing is focusing on Jesus.
Next time you are out shopping, really ask yourself, “Am I buying this to find happiness? Or am I buying this because I truly need it?”
words by Grace Butler and photo by Mandie Harper