lifestyle

Favorite One.

We have all heard the statement, “We are the sons and daughters of God.” However, few actually walk out in this truth. I know that for 24 years of my life, I have not fully walked out in this truth. If anything, I was operating from not knowing what this statement meant. And I even taught a seminar on identity a couple years ago too!

But to truly explain what true freedom looks like, I must share with you the deep inner struggles that had to first be surfaced. My greatest fears and insecurities have been rooted in the fear of being forgotten, replaced, and forsaken. However, as a result of these fears, I wasn’t able to fully embrace, champion, and celebrate others. I became possessive and controlling. I wasn’t able to see the beauty that God was doing in the hearts of other individuals, instead, I was consumed with how their presence was manifesting my great insecurities. However, in the midst of all my bitterness and ugliness just manifesting, I found myself even more repulsive. I couldn’t see the good in my own heart and my own process. I became consumed with the fact that my heart was being bound by my fears, yet I was completely unaware of how my fears were dictating my heart from receiving His Love that much more. I became fixated on what I was lacking that I wasn’t able to see the good and gold that He was pouring into my heart.

This past week God resurfaced deep things within my heart that I didn’t even realize were brewing from within. Things that I felt my heart has been harboring but these were things I wasn’t even fully aware of. But, the core of these things came from a place of not understanding identity. I was walking around with such immense insecurity in my self-worth and not fully understanding the truth of what it meant to be fully and wholly loved that I became so consumed with comparing myself with others, comparing my breakthroughs with that of others, and measuring myself in the eyes of man, rather than what God was saying about me. From the lens of my own insecurity, I was unable to walk in confidence found in true love, I was unable to champion the breakthrough of others and celebrate their victories, I was so consumed with my lack and my insufficiencies that I was unable to see the goodness God was pouring out in my own life.

There is a beautiful example my friend gave to me regarding one of the girls she has mentored and discipled years ago. Although, this girl is not visibly receiving my friend’s love compared to some other girls she has discipled over the years, she walks with such confidence and assurance. Time and time again, she comes up to my friend and says, “Unnie, I’m your ‘favorite one,’ right?” And my friend, with a slight nod, says, “Yes, you are.” And that is enough for this girl to know she is dearly loved. She walks with such confidence and assurance because she walks with full and total conviction of her belovedness. My friend began sharing with me how as a leader, she is very careful and cautious to show too much affection because of her position in the church and what others may say to her about favoritism. In the eyes of others, it even seems as though she is harsher to certain girls, however, she shared that in the depth of her heart, those who are closest to her heart are those that seem to not be receiving her love as deeply. She shared how at the end of the day, those she loves and perhaps “favors” the most are the ones she is also most careful of showing too much affection. Although in the eyes of man, they may not fully see the depth of love she has for them, she was sharing that this is love. And what most feeds her heart is when these girls, those who have captured her heart so deeply, walk with this great assurance of their identity as one who is deeply loved by her. Is this also not with God?

When we are walking from this place of full confidence in the love He has for us, when we are walking with such immense assurance that no matter what, our place in His heart will not be overridden by another. We have such an immensely unique and special place in His heart, and it is one that is irreplaceable. When we walk with such immense assurance that no matter the tangible things of His love for us or the “lack of,” as measured by the outpourings of certain manifestations, we are so deeply and completely loved, we are not operating from fear. Instead, in this place of being so confident that my identity as His own chosen one, and His favorite, I will not covet or become jealous of others. Instead, I will walk, pursuing the very things He has in store for me without having to be controlling or manipulative of situations. When we walk from this place of fully and completely understanding our beauty and our worth, we please His heart. We are not insecure in His love for us. Rather, we walk with such confidence that we are HIS and He has chosen ME as His favorite one. And this moves His heart. My friend was sharing how when her girl truly owned the fact that she was her favorite, it filled my friend’s heart with such love. She smiled and enjoyed how this girl walked with an understanding that no matter what, she was one who had such a special place in her heart. She understood how she is truly one that is so dear to her heart. Her confidence in love was not arrogant, rather, it was this assurance that propels her to champion and celebrate the breakthrough of so many others who are receiving healing and ministry from my friend. And so, this is also with God. When He sees that His children are walking in such confidence and assurance of how He loves them, it pleases His heart. He is so undone by the fact that His children aren’t bound by insecurities and not walking in the fullness of their destinies, rather, it pleases His heart to see His beloved ones confident in the foundation of His love for them.

When we truly grasp the fact that we are loved, we are not operating in fear or insecurity. We walk with such confidence in this revelation, and we celebrate the breakthrough of others. We aren’t consumed with the fear that we will be replaced because they are receiving a bit more attention, we aren’t consumed by the insecurity that we will be forsaken and overlooked by others. Instead, we walk with such confidence, knowing that our place in His heart is not one that anyone can replace. Our place in His heart is so secure and whether we see a physical manifestation of His or not, we walk with such deep faith and assurance that we are so deeply loved. Regardless of what we see in front of us, we press on, because we know that we are secure in love. Our foundation is His love and our greatest security is His love. We are able to fully operate in the fullness of our calling walking confidently out in His love for us, knowing that I am His favorite one. And with this assurance of our identity, of our belovedness, we are able to fully celebrate the breakthroughs of others. We aren’t bound in jealousy or fear or insecurity thinking they will overtake us, rather, we get to celebrate others stepping into greater measures of freedom.

This is the beauty and the fruit that comes from us walking in the full assurance of the fact that I am His favorite one. No matter the things happening to others around me, I find my greatest security in the realization that I am chosen by Him and I am not replaceable in His heart. My place is unique, it’s special, its one a kind, cut out specifically for me and me, alone.

Walking in the full security and assurance of my identity is still my current journey. I’ve only just begun, however, even this small glimpse as to how such an understanding of my place in His heart is enough to propel me to pressing on with a greater revelation of His love for me. I am still very much a work in progress, yet, the beauty of process is that we always go from glory to glory. Thus, I continue on in this new journey of discovering the wonder and beauty of His love for me and my uniqueness to Him, knowing that where I am (which I wrestle with seeing as the beginning stages) is a better place than were I have been. And so, I begin this journey with this declaration of such a beautiful glimpse into His heart: I am His favorite one.

words by Grace Chun and photo by Hannah Jin

A lover of all things beautiful, seeking to constantly search out the gold in those around me. A creative looking to discover the beauty in writing and hoping to arrive to this place of constant awe and wonder for only One.

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