Though I used to hate to admit it out loud, I struggled with the feeling of inadequacy for part of my life – honestly, I still struggle with it from time to time. This feeling of inadequacy would range anywhere from not being good enough at a certain sport to not feeling enough for my friends. I believed there was always someone better.
I would never have dreamed of publicly writing these words; however, it is a struggle that I wish to share because I know I am not alone.
We all have hobbies, people, or dreams in our lives that we are afraid of letting down. We may listen to the voices telling us, “you’re not actually that good at it” or “that person is better than you anyway so you should just give up.” Sometimes we believe these whispers. We let these little lies creep in and dull our passions. Like thieves, they try to steal our joy. They tell us that nobody returns the love we have for them or that we aren’t good enough at something so we shouldn’t keep pursuing it.
I found myself constantly listening to these voices and comparing myself in different aspects of my life. Comparing my looks, smarts and even how secure I felt in my friendships; thinking to myself that I was just second best. Never a first choice and always falling short. Comparison is a dangerous and broken road of thoughts to walk down.
For years, I always questioned why I felt I was never enough. And then one day it hit me. I had been putting my faith and expectations on imperfect people who are not capable of loving me even half as much as the one who created me. God.
Only then did I realize that it doesn’t matter if somebody else is better at a hobby or gets more attention than me. We were not given this life to live in the shadows of others we put in front of us. We are made for more than this.
As Bob Goff states in his book Love Does, “[w]hen we get our security from Christ, we no longer have to look for it in the world, and that’s a pretty good trade.” I think this quote is a great reminder. When we stop looking for affirmation and love from others or earthly things, we will be set free. Realizing we have worth and are loved beyond our comprehension by God is pretty amazing.
It took me a while to realize that I am enough. I am loved. I am worthy. It is my job to remind myself of this. As it is yours. Believe in yourself and your abilities. You are in charge of your worth. Remind yourself that you are loved and you are enough.
I have an amazing God who reminds me of that. He reminds us that we are so loved by his unfailing love. Even though as sinners we are so undeserving of him, he loves us still.
So rather than looking to where you fall short or letting the lies that you are not cared for slip in, look to a God who loves you where you are. You are so loved it is beyond your comprehension.
words by Sarah Gerard and photo by Kiana Dundore