Remember as a kid when you would stand in front of your friend and slowly begin falling backwards? While you did so, you yell obnoxiously, “Trust fall!”, hoping they would catch you and laugh. It honestly felt so sweet when I knew they would catch me and knew they would absolutely try to. In this moment right now, looking for a job, I feel like the Lord and I are doing the same thing, a trust fall. Instead of me running in front of him and shoving all of my weight into His arms voluntarily, He gently places me in front of Himself and says, “Go ahead. Try my goodness and trust my provision.” It takes everything in me to fall backwards, because I am so used to preparing for whats next and always having a plan B. At this point, I have no plan B to count on, but a Lord who is telling me that He will pave the way.
It is in these “plan-less” moments that the funniest stories and greatest testimonies come. I write the second half of this piece a couple weeks after the first, and the Lord has provided an office job for me. In this office job, my boss daily gets barricaded into her office, we have frisbee games, water gun fights, and daily devotions. I cannot go more than 2 hours without either being pelted with some kind of ball at my desk, having some valuable belonging of mine stolen, or being asked to participate in a ping pong challenge during lunch. My co-workers are goof balls, and my boss treats me like her own daughter. The Lord hand picked this job for me, all because I did not have a plan B and decided to “go ahead” and “trust His goodness.” Did His goodness come through? Absolutely, and then some. If some of my writings seem to repeat themselves, good! Because such revelation is worth repeating.
As much as I hate it, I love not knowing what is next. I have zero clue whats around the corner, but somehow the very next step is always there, as His plan and His timing unfold. I do not get a birds eye view, but rather an ants eye view. For some reason, my human self tends to complain about what kind of view, rather than praising the Almighty for any view at all!
The Lord does not forcefully push you into a trust fall, He does so with gentleness and reassurance. Ponder the past, prepare less for the future, and learn to trust fall. He will not only catch you, but He will also teach you. My jobless experience turned into a joy filled work environment, just because I trusted the author of my story and leaned backwards.
words by Kylie Hultgren and photo by Sarah Mohan