Days like the ones I had today are the days that make life great and my love for Christ greater. It started out unseemingly. 8AM class – I threw on jeans and a hoodie, grabbed some coffee and off I went. I mindlessly took tests and did assignments. I got home, and my mom reminded me that she was taking me and a friend of ours to Charlotte for a Christian conference. How could I forget. I had been looking forward to it all week. We got there, and all three of us prayed that God would show us something. We all felt like we were in a desert state of mind, no bueno. No doubt did God have something great in mind for us. I think when Elevation Worship played the first note of the the first worship song, God opened the floodgate of His grace on us. His Holy Spirit was moving, the atmosphere was changing. God showed up, and He worked.
This is my first article on here, but I want to be vulnerable with you all. This season of my life has been tough. The hustle and the bustle, the loneliness, the long nights of studying tirelessly, an unfocused mind, and a empty coffee cup that had been full at least three other times that day. It has been some sort of mayhem. Isn’t that what the world wants us to think is good for us? Being too “busy” to remember the God that gives me breath? Being too caught up in this final swing of the semester to offer that very same breath in praise to Him daily? That first note of that song offered His Peace, Love, Comfort, and Strength. So much of this first semester of my senior year has looked like visiting schools, stressing about finances, trying to keep a 4.0, keeping up with fashion, keeping up with my friends that are away at school…running running running and to what?
God showed me tonight to give it up. He will provide what I need. He will get me to where I am supposed to be. He will remain constant and the same. For He is faithful. Little is much when Christ is in it. All He asks of us is to trust Him. The “trust fall” always comes to mind when I think about trusting someone. It is scary – but will I allow the fear to keep myself from something that could change my life forever? That is exactly what fear has in mind. But courage, courage is going forward in the presence of fear. Tonight I had to choose. I chose courage. Christ calls us to choose courage. He calls us to sometimes take a leap into the unknown. To take a step blindfolded. To take a risk. We are representing the Kingdom of God, and there is no greater risk than to represent Him. It is so easy to lose ourselves and stagger through mundane ground. But God will give us the strength to muster up the courage to get to the mountain top if we let Him. And when it feels like there is no more faith to be had, have a little more. For little is much. I believe Jesus had this thought when He fed the 5,000 from five loaves of bread and two fish. Little is much. And when Peter walked on water with Jesus. He had courage to take a step out of that boat. Little is much. Or when the disciples left all they had to follow Christ. The little they gave in the beginning turned into much, growing the Kingdom of Heaven.
So this season of the endless questions of what to do with my life, I am laying them down. I am beginning to learn that life is not always about knowing. Sometimes we learn the most in the valleys. Right now, I am in this walk blindfolded, but I am holding the hand of a God who will never lead me astray. And tonight, He is saying to me, “Little is much when you surrender it all to me.”
words and photo by Abby Pullicin