I can’t describe it, and I’m not sure that I’ll ever quite be able to, but up until a few days ago I’ve been feeling very uninspired. I’m not sure if it’s the season of graduating college quickly approaching, constantly taking every opportunity to drop off its heavy weight onto my shoulders. I’m not sure if its the busy schedule, resulting in me putting my head down and marching on, my face constantly looking at the ground below me instead of the world around me. Maybe its one of those things, most likely its both, but plain and simple I’ve just been feeling uninspired.
I can vividly remember visiting Disney World for the first time as a child. Just the mere thought of traveling to this magical place full of rides and thrilling experiences made my eyes light up like a Christmas tree. When I stepped into the theme park at age 6, everything around me seemed so massive and exciting. The roller coasters felt as tall as skyscrapers, the characters once just figures on a movie screen had now come to life and were dancing right in front of me; I couldn’t help but stand in awe of everything going on around me. Now, at age 20, visiting Disney World is the complete opposite. Rides seem smaller, the environment feels less magical–and I think that’s how I’ve come to view the world. I’ve grown complacent to the miracles happening every single day, and I never stop to think that maybe it’s not the world that’s lost its spark, maybe it’s me. Thinking back on this time when I was so young, and everything that surrounded me honestly seemed like the most fascinating thing in the world makes me wonder, what happened?
I mean, come on guys, we’re floating on a giant ball in the middle of darkness, constantly tilted and spinning around a flaming ball of gas. Plants intended for us to use as energy literally grow from the soil. Oh, and water, the one thing we need to survive, miraculously falls from the sky. Grass, oh my goodness grass. This tiny little organism is somehow able to break through the soil and grow with the help of the sun and rain, making the ground so much softer for us.
I’m starting to realize that my lack of inspiration is only an excuse for me failing to open my eyes to God’s creation that surrounds me. I’ve become so blind and complacent in this world that I don’t realize how completely insane it is that I can stand up from where I’m sitting right now and literally walk across my room all because my brain sent a signal to my muscles telling them to move.
I want my childhood imagination back. I want a creative mind that runs wild, the one that He gave me, the one that I allowed the world to steal from me. In 2018, I want to be completely blown away by the Creation surrounding me because I have absolutely no excuse not to be. My prayer is that this world never becomes “normal,” but that it’s always blowing my mind, one tiny little blade of grass at a time.
words and photo by Sarah Mohan